Love Poem in the Shape of a Dream

trying to sense where things really stand
from the shadows cast in the suffering

You had a theory about what happened
and came to me in a dream to stand by me
when I was wrong and damned and yet
completely innocent. Trying to sense
where things stand from the shadows
cast in the suffering:

Such was your loyalty, friend, and you
kissed me when it could make a difference.
You said I was mean and cruel
and it was only just what had happened.
For snark and meanness protect
the sweet and vulnerable heart,
weary from figuring it all out on its own.

And you came to me in a dream
and I don’t even know if you know that,
wherever you are in heaven or hell,
and you kissed me when it could make a difference.
I try to remember what that felt like,
the sort of loyalty that stays.
I look at the shadows of love stretching
long onto the empty pavement glistening in the heat.

If I can find a way through all
these myriad felt and mostly
scorned and disreputable worlds,
I will stand by you too,
and kiss you when it can make a difference.